Zipper (2015) [Review]

Patrick Wilson is District Attorney Sam Ellis, who has the blessing and the curse of being a good-looking chap. Think Harvey Spector from Suits, only you don’t want to punch him in the face every time he walks on-screen… yet. A recent case he had taken involving an escort prompts him to go online and discover that escorts actually exist. Surprising, not only for him, but mainly for us as it materialises that the serial cheater who works in law hadn’t figured out that you could pay for sex online.

One girl turns into two girls, and then into three, and this ‘zipper problem’ starts to spiral wildly out of control until Ray Winstone rocks up with his reading glasses, gruff London accent and threatens to ruin everything. Appearing more like one of the old late night Channel 5 erotic thrillers, Zipper refuses to delve any deeper than this playful sexcapade, and like our central character we are left feeling empty and unfulfilled.

It had every opportunity to investigate and portray the psychological elements of sex addiction, educate audiences on the sex industry, the impact of journalists investigations into political figures, or even explore the emotional ramifications brought about by marital problems and infidelity. Instead, it opted for a predictable, high level, laughable but ultimately uninteresting story of a naughty man who liked sex but not with his wife.

Credit where it’s due, Patrick Wilson was believable as the seedy DA, and his wife played by Lena Headey was impressive but underused, clearly making the most of the little airtime she received. Ray Winstone barely deserves a mention, essentially playing himself with the only saving grace in that he didn’t have to put on an American accent.

Unfortunately, Zipper is a below-average thriller that doesn’t seem to do or say anything of any real importance. A political thriller without the politics or the thrill. Steer clear and watch House of Cards if you haven’t already….