I’ve thrown together a post in the spirit of shit buzzfeed type lists, where the condescending assumption of ‘probably not’ seeing a movie before forms the basis for clickbait ‘articles’ that serve no purpose other than to show how alternative they are (or aren’t, as the case might so often be). I have no problem with lists, but the automatic proclamation that I haven’t seen the one you have is frustrating and stupid.
Here are 10 films I probably haven’t seen. I can’t honestly remember if I have seen them all the way through, and I have very little desire to go back and see some of them, but this is at least more accurate than the lists other sites assume on my behalf.
I vaguely remember starting this film, only because that catchy song from The Shins is in my head, but I could have got the reference from the soundtrack. It has the guy from Scrubs who since the TV show ended has done nothing I am aware of other than annoy people with his Kickstarter antics. I could pass off seeing this film in conversation if someone I knew really loved it and I didn’t want to upset them, but deep down I know I probably haven’t seen it.
Megan Fox is in this film, and I remember that not from the picture but from all the hype surrounding her ‘hot bod‘ in 2007. Is she in the other films? If not, then I have probably seen this film. They’ve made 4 of them I think, and I have seen at least one of them. I’m not sure if this was the one I saw or not, all I remember from the one I saw was some really clunky CGI and bad acting. I wanted no part of the film and on that basis probably haven’t seen it, at least all the way through.
Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999)
I have a genuine desire to see this film, but my memory of it stems back to when I was really young. My Uncle put Star Wars on one Christmas and whether I finished watching it, and whether it was even this one is largely up for debate. I suppose with the new one coming out, the overwhelming popularity of the entire franchise, I really should make an effort to rematch them.
Was this the film where they get a giant Hummer type of car and smash it down a hill through a shanty town? I don’t know. Probably. Films of this nature are so interchangeable it’s difficult to track if you have actually seen it. I think the last thing I saw Martin Lawrence in was Blue Streak and/or Big Mommas House. I thought he resided firmly in that type of film, never able to break out of the typecast nonsense he had started out with. I’m sure I would remember Bad Boys if I saw it, but I guess I probably haven’t seen it.
(500) Days of Summer
Do people still obsess over Zooey Deschenal? There was a period of time when this film came out that people would be infatuated with her, I wonder if that still goes on or if they have moved on to someone else. Regardless, from what I remember this is one of those mumbly indie romance films where it is both equal parts positive as it is miserable. I think I was too quick to write it off though, as I’ve heard nothing but good things about it since it was released and was one of the recommendations to add to my ‘Alternative Valentines Movie‘ list.
Finding a photo for this one was harder than I thought, it’s amazing what pictures are allowed past the google safe search these days. I have only just started to watch the Fast & Furious franchise (up to number 6 so far), so I am confident that I haven’t confused this film with one of them. However, despite my attempts to clarify if I have seen this film or not, I can’t come to a clear cut decision. I’ll speak with people about it, and they will state events that happen and I’ll remember them, but perhaps not in this film.
A late 90’s gem riding on the wave of Toy Story, Small Soldiers was a film I would often catch bits of on TV as it took it’s place on the ITV2 Schedule right alongside The Mummy Returns. I cannot recall watching the full film though, probably because watching a movie broken up by adverts annoys me no end. Speaking to someone about it since, they said there was some controversy over the target audience, splicing a darker tone despite being aimed at kids – knowing that now, next time I’m channel hopping I might be inclined to keep this on.
Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World
Steve Carrell has always been a favourite of mine, but I find his filmography very inconsistent. He goes from something great like Little Miss Sunshine to the absolute snoozefest that was Dan In Real Life, it’s difficult to read what the film is going to be like, and if it is going to be worth any of your time. Like a few of these before, I’ve seen this film in pieces but not as a complete film. It has been on late night TV a handful of times and if I’m not mistaken it might even be on Netflix. Assuming I probably haven’t seen this, can anyone advise if this is worth watching in full?
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
I know for a fact I have seen that scene where the shop assistant reaches down into the fish tank and her shirt goes see-through, but what I probably haven’t seen is the remainder of the movie. In hindsight I should have called this ’10 movies I haven’t completed fully’, but then it would defeat the point of the whole ‘probably’ thing. I might go back and watch this one, if not to compare it to the South Park parody of him. I highly doubt it’s accurate but it will be impossible to watch without thinking of the ‘deep-de-derp, da-diddly-dum-de-derp’ all the time.
I was 9 years old when this movie was released, I remember seeing the adverts for it and I think one of my friends even had it on VHS. But in 1996, I was watching films like Happy Gilmore, Space Jam, Matilda and The Nutty Professor among others. It’s also worth keeping in mind just how good kids TV was back then, so something like Mars Attacks had a lot to contend with. Yet, despite all of that, without ever seeing it, I could probably describe what happens and how it all goes down. I could describe the aliens and what they sound like too. Good marketing? Probably. Have I seen it? Probably not.
Thus concludes this post, my probably haven’t watched movie selection. I am sure there are movies you probably haven’t seen, but unlike others, I haven’t assumed that on your behalf. If you think you have probably not seen a movie – let me know in the comments below or tweet me, and I’ll see if I probably haven’t seen it too.